Almost New Year

Well I'm not stuck in that old love rut anymore.. but i am stuck in a new one..

i thought you and i would lead to something, but it didnt, i had a feeling it wouldn't.
i don't know why i waited for you when i already knew that you werent going to pick me.
i guess i felt like you were going to choose me since you said that there was a chance... but i guess not.
but, at the end of the day we're still friends, and thats good..
i wish it was more, but its only a wish..
and all our secrets are kept in a vault of the heart.
never to be opened for anyone except only to you or me.
cause if it did get opened, things would be shitt.
it's better like this.
i did this to myself...once again.

Now I get jealous everytime i see you with her. but I just have to deal with it.
i told you i was happy for you, but whatever.

but when i was with you, ive learned to let out how i really feel.
how to be honest and how being honest can make manyy things go smooother.
but being with you also taught me how to lie a lot..
both good and bad.

it was great. the time we had together.
gave me new experiences.
i had fun. you had fun.
i almost lost it to you.
hah.

FRIDAY: DECEMBER 18 2009
geraldines was legit.
got slightly buzzed.
tried a ciggg. tried weed. with a beer in my hand.
got a drummer's number. (going out on a date with him tmrw)
made out with a navajo.
..and he's says i changed after we were "over."
i would have pobably done those things anyways.
but truth is..i did those things to try and get his attention.
no luck, but i knew it wouldn't. hah pathetic old me.
no i guess i look like a sleeze.
probably to his friends because they knew some stuff about us.
hah. i guess i am a sleeze.
SLEEEEZEEEE1

SATURDAY: DECEMBER 19 2009
i had a ittle bbq that hoope was gonna have a lot of people, but i knew wasnt.
and it wasnt.
but i was fine with the amount of people who came. it was very chilll.
...it was cute how you were being cute to her.
i was made jealous and couldnt stand it anymore when we were watching the movie.
so i went outside and stayed there till the movie was over.
then she and some friends slept over. you didnt know that while you were texting her,
we were the one answering back,
and we read everything.
i got jealous when you asked her to disneyland,
because i had hope that were gonna go together when we had our "time" together.
why do i always give myself false hope?
but im dealing with it.
i was the one who said to you that i would be okay with who ever you chose.
so now i have to be okay with it.

CHristmas is coming around the corner, and i hope things are going to be fun.
senior year. senior year...
its half way through senior year..

09.09.09

my head is stuck in the clouds nd i need to get it out..


today was school, waterpolo workout=throw up, SAT school.

its senior bitch and im still stuck at home..

Maybe?

i wish i had someone to have late night phone calls with, i wish i ad someone to cuddle with, i wish i had someone to just call mine.

maybe im just lonely and thats why im thinking about you so much..

5:02 AM

Well apparently i cant fall asleep. I tried going to sleep like at around 3 something but it didnt happen.. I guess i think about a lot of things before i fall asleep..

so i've been watching a lot of youtube lately but its of people singing and dancing lol. in my last entry i told you aobut music speaks. well ive been watching videos of those people :) they sing so good and play the guitar so well and the piano too. makes me so jealous. i've taken piano lessons before in middle school. i shouldnt have quit that. cuase now i wanna learn it again cause i realize how graceful and powerful of an insrtument it is..

i cant get enough of J.R. and Andrew Garcia's vioce<3 im in love with them. But right now im listening to Ryan Bandong. OMG he is totally the cutest of them all even though he wasnt in music speaks because he lives in New York. he is so adorable plus he has a good voice too.

I dont think i will get asked to any dances this year. i mean ive never been asked before to dance period but since its never happened, i just think its not gonna happen at all. Its my senior year. sighhh. Wilson people just aint gonna cut it..

"I'm afraid. If I find someone, that when I'm with them, I'm just going to think of you... I thought I was already over you, but i guess not. I was the one that did it. I felt nothing. Now I feel something."

idk what im gonna do about my tshirt stuff. i wanna start a clothing line or whatever but i dont htink im good enough. i htink that for a lot of things i do. i wanna design guys street wear. i love brands like The Hundreds. Is it wrong if I'm a girl and i wanna make shirts like that. shirts like with naked people on it but with a twist? im so interested in those ind of shirts..shirts that gangster skaters wear. i like Hellz Bellz too i think a girl made that up but im not sure and her shirts are edgy like guy shirts but for girls...

I'm going to take SAT classes. i hope its not too late...Then ima take the SAT in october. and have to write up my college essays and turn it in my november..i hope its not too late. im such a procrastinator. a really bad one. my parents want me to go to Cal Poly. I have not fucking clue what im going to do there or anywhere. or what i want to be. I hate growing up. I wish i had more time. should have watched less TV like my parents told me. now look at me. always doing things last minute..

I feel like this school year is just gonna be another school year.. idk we'll see..

My dad found a tarantula and put it in a tuper ware container and put it in the living room. WTF! and i felt bad after like the whole day so at night my dad threw it into someone elses backyard...

When my dad landed at the airport when he flew in from georgia he texted me "I'm in L.A. tricks!" it was LOLs.

I reallly want soooo bad like realy sooo baddddd to be warped tour 2010's pit reporter!!! omgosh that would be a freakin dream come true if i became their pit reporter! but iprobably wont get it since i find things out late and like i dont really like ever win anything..sighh. that would probably be the best summer i would ever have in my life!

gosh idk why but im paranoid right now that my mom is gonna walk into my room and be like "YOU HAVENT SLEPT YET?!" she scares me sometimes...lol

anywaysss this is what i think about sometimes when im tryin to go to sleep. a lot huh? well now i gotta think about what i need to bring to school today and if my camera's charged enough to take pictures and everything...

fudgeee im so sore from waterpolo it was so ahrd to walk normally this entire weekend..lamee

ENDED @ 5:31 AM

Music Speaks

is where i went today with my lovely friend MO! haha. it was in anahiem and it was a charity show for autism.. There was Aj rafael, the adrian william project, cathy nuygen (i can never spell thatname right), passion, and many others. it was very chill and everyone sang super good, all for a good cause. i bought a tshirt from RadIsRad and one of aj rafael. i love andrew garcia :D can i please find a man like that :( so cute. i was hoping that he was going to sing Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon but he didnt :( i lovee his cover on that song .. so sexy :P i thought when aj and his sisters sang the butterfly fly away song was cute and nice it made me sad a little :( but then later we went to the meet and greet and meet everyone but they didnt let us take pictures :( i wanted to take on of my hubby andrew.. i got kinda nervous when i went in.. sooo cute hahaha i cant stop using "cute" in this blog haha.

we started conditioning for water polo already :( but im gladd for the heat and fires cuase theyre keeping from dong anything hard for right now..which is kinda sad cuz fires are bad :( the first day of school was whatever..no biggy but it was freakinggg hot as fuhhhh.

wow that movie 2012. idk i like to believe its full of shitt its like the day after tomorrow but better picture and special fx hahahah.i just went to the website thats on tv advertising the movie and it makes it look so real. hahaha but too bad i cant live my life the way i want too. makes me think life is short and you gotta do what you want to, but i cant.. ehh whateverrrrr

"i find myself always thinking about that guy, maybe its cuz ive got no one and he was able to move on. but truth is no has ever asked me except for you. idk what to do anymore.. i feel so lonely sometimes but thoughts of you fill my mind. i will always love you no matter what. i hope you remember me still. lets meet again later..maybe i wont screw it up that time.."

lick.

im planning on doing this everyday even if i have very little to write.

i cut myself inside my nose and it kinda stings sometimes when i move my nose a certain way.
Today was the first day of night practice for girls waterpolo. it was okay. i really need to work on my treading because i suck. i cant tread. all this time ive just been doing stupid kicks because it keeps me afloat. i mean it works, but treading i guess gives you more power when you shoot. my third year in polo and i dont know how to tread correctly..its not a sport i love,but i'll probably miss it. I hate how i still get nervous before a game, it drives me crazy! i get butterflies, feel dizzy or whatever else. oh and i ate the chlorine smell that always gets stuck to my skin. and thats why i love bath and body works, thanks:)
I probably wont end up doing swim..

i dont feel worthy of a letterman. but i should order it like now. idk if i should go old school where it looks like a cardigan or i should go for the one that everybody has...

Quickie

Sooo I forgot to tell you that i got my driver's permit. I felt late cause everyone else has their lisence already:(
I didnt go to the last day of warped tour today because i just wasnt in the mood for it even though i do regret not going, but it'll pass. idk why i didnt feel like it...
So instead went to eat brunch with the family at knotts berry farm. Then went to thaitown cause my mom wanted to get some magazines. so i just fell asleep in the car. then dropped off my mom, went to go pick up carol, got dropped off at the mall. i got a cardigan and a tank top from F21. then walked all the way to macaroni grill for POON's going away dinner. While walking there i thought i should call my parents and tell them that iw as almost at the place but i didnt. i had the same urge again when i ordered my food but i didnt. then i put the phone in my bag...then carol's phone went off and she said my parents were at her house with her parents asking where i was...WOWOWOWOWOW! then i looked at my phone and there was fur new viocemails, and a ton of missed calls... sometimes i should just follow the urge..

school starts in 2 days. wtf is up with the schedule? i fucking hope i dont have zero period. it would ruin my senior year ughh.

oh and we went in to trade my brother's old van for a BMW 3 series in black, sexy

Summer is almost over...

...And it wasnt one that i would remember for ever. Now that I think about it, I dont really remember it at all. I didnt go anywhere at all for vacation..unless you call watching tv all day everyday in your room until you turn into a vegetable and your back gets all sore, a vacation.

Something memorable: GOing to the Pomona Warped Tour! was a blast! the best set was The Devil Wears Prada. damn i loved them. i never really listened to them on myspace but when i heard them live, i fell in love. Underoath was pretty cool too. A day to remember was the most sweatiest ever! i really thought i was going to die! but i enjoyed it. I saw Saosin and Cove is so fine <3 love him. and idk what else...OH versaemerge was sweeeet. best new band ive listened too, they were great live!

I also went to go see a show with my friend Flori. The band was called Close But NOt Quite. they were pretty cool. there were other bands too like Big City Kids, Teen Hearts, Boombox Ninjas, The divine. it was at chain reaction my first time there. pretty cool place. definately would go back again.

On business day which was like august 18. went got my classes and my ID and books and shit. Looks like im gonna hate my schedule this year. and a classcalled fucking PRIDE! what the fuck is that shit!?!?! ugh i swear school gets worse every year. BUt the people dont :) that was the point of this paragraph. Yeaqh well after getting all that crap, John, Samantha, Alison, and Dianne decided to go to Dennys for breakfast since it was still in the morning and we were all hungry! We didnt want to go home yet so after Sam went to go drop something off at fedex, we went to cue and took some stupid ass pictures. then we went to the park and just layed in the grass ( i konw so hippie sounding) but it was nice and relaxing, just getting away form everything for just a little bit. that day was fun. good fun ive had in a while.

And of course hanging out with MO day. hahaha blast and BONGO and johnny cupcakes and everything.

MOVING ON: i have no fucking clue what to do with college or SATs or ACTs. wtf do i do?!?! im lost. i hsould have just been going in honor roll or whatever so i can just go to somewhere good. but then i wouldnt know what to major in cuz i have no fucking clue. i wish i had all my life figured out like the asian kids at school. i just wish i made smarter choices..sometimes i wish i had someone in my life that pushed me hard about college like the parents in those college movies that are all crazy about it. maybe i would have done better in school? idk.. not sayin that my parents are not good stuff but.
i wish essays for college was like this. just bad grammer and spelling all over and they wouldnt care, they would just look at it and know what you mean and stuff..sighhhh


tere is so much more i want to say but im just gonna stop for right now..

hmm

I really dont know what to write right now..i had it all in my head but now its all gone ahaha.

well yesterday was the best day with mo and hanna ever! hahaha first we headed over to the Johnny Cupcakes store :) oh wait but before that we haeaded over to in&out to get some road kill and monkey style but they didnt have any :( the lady thought we were joking with her but we werent. i read it in maxim magazine and they said that in&out had it. but anyways we headed to JC and that was fun. I got the one year ann. shirt woo 158/200! it was a limited shirt. Mo got the california blue tshirt. It was hanna's first time in the store :) Man i really want to go to the goonies showing in fairfax!! this saturday :( but i probably cant. going to another movie priemere maybe not sure. THen we walked around for a bit and damnnn so many cute guys.

THen we wanted to go to sprinkles cupcake but we stopped at a starbucks cuz mo had to go and i had to go. and we then walked to Whole foods which is now my fav!!!! i liked fresh and easy but this one is wayyyy better! omg so many good looking people in that part of town hahaa. We went there trying to find these special type of macarroons but they didnt have any. and so we went to the bakery right next door and they didnt have it! so we just got this merengue thing and cookies. haha On the ride there to sprinkles omg mo sooo funny! her accents, so G!

Once we got to sprinkles, Mo got the pumpkin and redvelvet. i got the red velvet too and strawberry which i got today and was deliciouss. hanna got the black and white cupcake that was pure goodness. oh and we went to eat those cupcakes at a mexican fast food place HAHAAHAH cuz the water was too expensive :) yup thats how we do!

SO on our way home we decided to watch the ugly truth but the movie theater that we wanted to see it at didnt have the movie which was like WTF! so we decided to go get some korean bbq instead! OMG i was soooo happpy! i was finally fulfilling my dream of going to eat korean bbq with korean people!!! yes. and the place was not bad at all it was the bomb. the place was called BONGGA! hahahaah we could not stop sayin that for the rest of the night, o'chantee.

THen for the last stop we went to genki livng for some good delicious fish shaped pastry. mm i love the custard. i wanted to go take some cue pictures but the place closed at 10 :( we went to Yes plaza and that was closed too! damn. so Mo decided to talke me home and i gave her hanna and i's KING FRUIT tshirt :) hahaha. then they left and that was that!!!

TODAY! i cleaned my room and found out where the ants were going! to a freakin apple juice box i left on the desk. hmmm and idk what to say. summers going alright just hopeing that i get to go to the last couple of shows and yup thats it :)

the the the

Last week was one of the most tiring weeks i've ever had in my life! On monday I went to waterpolo practice, tuesday and wednesday i went to vegas with my mom, dad, lilbro, ploy, and a cousin who came in from the grand canyon who was headin back to thailand soon. On thursday went to disneyland and even though it was suppose to be the happiest place on earth, it didnt make me that happy..
Then on the same day I went to chain reaction! my first time ever! I went with flori to finally see Close But Not Quite. There was also Teen Hearts, Boom box ninjas, the divine? i think and big city kids. they were all like hip hop ish electronic ish type bands. idk. but we got there kinda late like at around 8 ish i think. so i got to see like 3 bands. I took my nikon and just decided to experiment and take some pictures. It turned out alright but it wasnt WOW. After I went and bought a CBNQ shirt and CD. all for like 20 bucks so i would say its was alright. Flori got a pic with Wes and we met Alex and i introduced myself :) so cute :) and Tony was all sexin up the stage like Wes. Someone threw panties at Tony! hahah thought it was hilarious but dirrrty XP
there was an after party at like Wes' house or something but we didnt go. and hopefully when they come over to hang out i can go! hahaha
Harry Potter Tomorrow! FINALLY the day has come! cant wait to drool over the new hottie <3
And my T-shirt start up classes started. Not what I expected but Its okay. The teacher criticizes our work and in a good way. Like she tells us which direction to go in and stuff like that. She also tells us about the business aspect of doing any business which i thought was interesting. She even told us she was on Oprah! wow hahaha. she does cookbooks and designs products and does business consultant stuff.. Me and hanna teamed up and i guess we're doing a fruit line to promote healthy eating-_- fuckkk. i dont really like it but whatever. just gonna roll with it for now.
For my photography class i have to get started on my box project! ughhh i dont have anything ready, no test shots , no box! no nothing! and its this saturday ... I'm trying to do something simple.. but idk.
and i got mad at my mom today and giving her the silent treatment cuz she cleaned my room, and i dont know if she threw anyhting out that was important or where stuff is! i dont want to go to her and ask her where stuff is in my room! how gay. and she took off all my posters!!!!! WHYYY i had already taken some down for her and i told her i did that for her and then she goes and takes everything down while im in class! UGHHHH. i know she cleaned my room cuz she wanted to do something good. but CMONNNNN man everytime im about to clean my room she goes and does it firsttt. -_- i know i procrastinate but i eventuallly do it. man.....whatever.

Bring Me Flowers

Damn its been forever since I got on here. Well Lets see we left off with graduation...ok here we go!

I look like burnt toast. From waterpolo. What to say bout it..well idk if i feel anything towards that sport anymore to tell you the truth. I dont think i've ever felt anyhting for it to begin with. I mean yeah it probably got me to where i am today, which is more confident and outgoing than before. But im still shy and whatever but way better than before. It got me a whole new group of friends.But the thing is, in the game i'm not confident, i hesitate and doubt myself when im about to shoot. and i dont understand shit when we start playing. its so weird its like i blank out and all the stuff i learned in practice is just gone. Same thing with swim. ughhh. I just feel like i have to force myself to do it...In a way I just want to do it because of the letterman jacket, but then again i would probably be alright with what i have now and just not do swim. ugh idk..i always say that i might quit it but i dont.I dont even really care about going to waterpolo games, i would rather lie and go see a show instead. I mean its summer you know and i wanna have fun. but then again i have to commit to the team! ughh fuckkk. idk Close But Not Quite plays July 9th. I might go see them instead of playin in a game.

So we celebrated zubia's birthday on the June 24. It was soo chaotic to me. thats what it felt like. we were originally going to throw a surprise party but no one fuckin replied back so i was like F that shiz and came up with a new plan. Since Transformers 2 comes out that same day and he wanted to watch we decided to go watch it in IMAX! went to watch ti with Ploy her bf , hanna, my lil bro and our cousin. It was pretty bomb. heres the recap of the movie: explosion,megan fox, screaming, explosion, megan fox, explosion, kiss, end. HAHAHA but it was pretty good. After we went to eat at Banana Bay and hanna made a cake so we ate that it was good :) tastey makes me wanna bake one haha. Well we were going to go to cue but it was like almost midnight so we just called it a night.

Um I've been taking this photo class at art center college. and i think its a waste of money. ughh damn to be honest that class made me hate photography in a way. All we do is take random pictures thats suppose to have a meaning and we discuss it and it takes up the whole class. and the class is from 9am to 12pm. Now getting near the end of like the time we have left, we have a project to do where we get like a large box where we could fit a person inside of it and take portraits. sounds like fun right well we have to get all the shit for it and come up wit ha fuckin theme. and all my classmates looked like that stepped out of urbanoutfitters or lookbook or whatever the fuck. and like their so girly somtimes...but i shouldnt take shit really i mean their good and some of them might actually find a career in it. and we have to do like 'diptychs' and 'environmental portraits' and 'what it is for a woman to be a photgrapher' and a lot of other stuff that are due the saturday after 4th of July. that only gives me 2 weeks. ughh man. like what i really want to do is be a Band Photographer. like shoot for AP magazine and Rolling Stones. and just shoot bands live. thats probably all i ever want to shoot. I could careless about taking pictures of my room for classes.

But one thing I am excited for is for the T-Shirt Start Up Classes to start! i hope that wont turn out to be a disappointment like the photoclasses did. I hope this is going to be the kick in the butt that gets me going to help start up my own line. I've been talking about it since sophomore year..I've been all talk, now i just gotta walk the walk.

Ughhh so the following friday after zubia's birthday was June the 26, or WARPED TOUR POMONA! oh man the best! I've missed you so much warped tour<3 seriously bomb ass day! so the day started of by my parents droping me off at warped cuz i didnt have a ticket and they wanted to stay around there until i got one just in case if i didnt get one. Well I ended up did getting one ! and likei saw flori there at the beginning of the line so i just cut with her. and frankie was there and hector too. and like brandon and cali was there too. well anyways i went with karisa nad we met up with cutie friend marcos whom i didnt get a picture of :( well anyways my mom called me and liek i was oh shit 'i forgot to call her and tell her i got the ticket alrady' and so i told her but i just got in for like 5 mins. but ugh yeah i'll talk about that part later. well then we first went to go watch attack!attack! which was pretty good. then idk where else we went but heres a list of bands we saw : the devil wears prada, a day to remember, a rocket to the moon, versaemerge, i set my friends on fire, alexisonfire, saosin, underoath, dancegavindance, meg and dia, and idk i think thats about it... well yeah during the day me, marcos and karisa decide to just go ahead and do the slip and slide which got us totally soaked! haha but it was fun..I ended up having to switch tanktops so i have to jsut take off my top right there! idc cause like everyone at warped was half naked anyways. and we decided to do it because of the heat, but i thought the heat was alright at least it wasnt like last year where it was like 100 and something degrees. anyways, marcos got hot throughout the day and decided to take off his shirt ;) haha like byy then after the slide we met up with gab, cameron and jeff and we went to go see the devil wears prada WHICH i thought would have to be the best show for me that day cause i never really listened to them before and like i got all into it with jeff LOl and i like them now. I think that any band that can give out so much energy to a person who didnt even really listen to them before is like a fave to me, ya dig? Well everyone decided that the best show was a day to remember, which i thought i almost DIED in! hahaa damn that crowd was like freakin into it! like idk how many times i got in the shoulder or head or back from all the ppl that were crowdsurfing! haaha i almost did it too thoguh but i had a lot of stuff on my that i didnt want to lose hha.and i think that day was the first time i actually got sunburned ..but idkk. marcos let me put sunblock on his shoulders too ;) LMAOOOO. ughhhh overall it was a good day.saw mo, and sandy there. and i saw close but not quite there too. and i got a picture with them along with some other ppl. got home at like around 9ish. thanks karisa for the ride haha.

okay and then going back to the part where i forgot to call my mom.....well on saturday the day before ventura warped tour. I kinda got into a pickle with my parents infront of like my aunt and my brothers and his wife... like it was like this. My other aunt lets call her jj. she said that i oculd go with her to sell thai food at warped in ventura. and i got all excited and i thought my parents would let me go. so the on saturday my parents said no dont go cuz their druggies and its dangerous. and they said that the only reason she wanted me to go was because she wanted me to watch over her daughter who was like 14 i think. well i didnt care cuz i would get to go into warped free and just meet up with hanna or mo or like something liek tat. but idk why i was starting to cry...and like then my mom brought up how i went friday adn i forgot to call her and then she started to tear up about that. and like i could understand why you know cuz they were waiting for me and they were there for ME and I forgot to call them. and like idkk... that entire situation was aall confusing.. like i wanted to say the things that i felt inside, but when i said a part of it, they thought something else of it and i just gave up. so now our relationship is weird, idk if i'm making it weird. but im trying to act like how i was before, and just be my weird self..but i think that conversation changed something. OKAY AND THEN they said that i oculd go if i wanted. but they said in that parent way, where it was like "yeah go ahead, but I dont approve of this at all" so I jsut decided not to go..I didnt want them to get more angry at me and UGHHHHHH yeah thats how i feel about that.

OH THE CAB TOUR! well i went there with mo! and like the cab, the secret handshake, the summer set, and anarbor was there. I was surprised to see some parents there too. it was at the roxy, my first time there and i loved it. they had places you could sit in the back alike there was these awesome black and white show pictures that were framed and put on the walls. I really want to do that. those pictures look amazing! so anyways the show was awesome, dont really want to talk to much about that.

OH AND back to the pomona warped. i made a twitter like a couple days before and like i was following the pit reporter. and liek she was tweeting at warped and was saying that if you came and high fived her by this petting zoo thing she would give you a free hat. and like we went to her and found her and did. and like she tweeted about it and posted a picture with me and hat on . and like me,marcos, and karisa got interviewed for the warped tour blog with a camera and mike and everything! hahaha super cool.

ugh and i think im going to leave off with that...oh and yes MJ died on ploy's birthday june 25 2009. idk what to really say. i just feel bad ofr him that he had to live his life in the public like that since he was a kid..

and one last thing. purevolume had this section where they were saying that they were looking for photographers to shoot some bands. i signed up for it. hopefully i get it even though i dont have any lighting equipment and stuff like that...but yeah thats kiidna the direction i wanna go so we'll see what happens.

Junior Year Has Ended.

happy. I guess. summer school+nope! photoclass @ artcenter college. waterpolo practice+a new pair of goggles. always. where's the summer weather?

graduations+aww+yes!bye seniors.(ddnt want to post all of it)
june10.2009

Catching Up

sup bitchess. well I titled this for a reason...so here goes.
1(school). Fuck I've got soo much shit to do for school during the summer! First fucking stats ruined my lifee! I've already met the requirements but in the begining of the year i was like "oh stats shouldnt be that hard, right?" wowowowow. I got myself into shit! I got a D in first semester and colleges dont count D's. so i should take classes at rio hondo during the summer cuz they dont offer it at mt.sac or as a summer program at our school, how nice, huh? And then i wanna take the college program thing that the counsler came to talk about in class today. It like helps you right essays to get into college so I NEED that LOL i fucking suck at writing GREAT essays, espcially when colleges read that shit and determine if you get in or not by that. um then like im taking a photography class and a tshirt start up class at art college. im excited for those! and i need to work on getting my permit shit together man! fuckkk shitloaddddd.
2(PROM!). was whatever. maybe cause the night didnt really feel right. like it was ehh. the food was great though they had steak which was pretty bomb. I went on azaleas party bus! haha dang it was starting to get a little crazy after prom ended and we could all drink. I didnt really drink just hadd a couple sipps of JOOSE and i thought it tasted pretty good, when people were saying it was disgusting LOL. ahaha fucking azalea! never forget that. i didnt have a date to it though but it was still whatever.
3(BANQUET!). for journalism was fun! hahah played a prank on chris with jerri LOL salt in his lemonade. he knew though. but i tricked him into drinking it LOL. man it was like the last hang out kinda.. I'm starting to feel sad cuz the seniors are leaving! fuck charles was like our rock! and hes leaving :( we also just sang happy birthday for him even though it wasnt his birthday HAHAHAHAHA funnny.
4(life). is just going alright. if i get things done, it'll work out. just stop procrastinating!! and cant wait to get in the pool to start waterpolo again foo!!!!

kicks&kicks&kicks

This week was spring break!! YAY? well it was whatever. I didnt really go to any 'WOW' places. just around the block haha. which means around home like the mall and pasadene. I think pasadena stood out to me most during brea.
1. I went to watch fast and furious. and it was awesome! like i really loved it! OMG PAUL WALKER!!! he is sooo fine! so is Vin Diesel. and i was searching through youtube videos and i found out that he did some breakdancing when he was way yong!!! it was kinda cheesy it looked like some instructional video type thing. well then ploy told me aobut running scared and that shit was WHAO! hahaha omg sexy, twisted, and hot!heres a video of vin:

2. I've been stayin up prety late like everyday since spring break. And ploys been sleeping over alot during the break. OH! and i was soo pissed off not going to a kickback on wednesday! UGHHHH. i really wanted to get out there and meet new people seroiusly people at wilson are getting pretty ...whatever...
3. I went to watch the hannah montanna movie and it was good. i went to watch the after i watched half of observe and report. that shit was boring as fuck! same like pinapple express. like its funny but not LOL. I hung out with Jaz and CC. pretty chill whatever.
4. on like wednesday was freakin sooo windy! and i decided to go venice beach, wtf was i thinkin LMAO i just wanted to go once in my life hahaha. well when we got there (ploy and my big bro) it was windy as fuck and i got out of the car and by the beach and the sand was freakin attacking me like i was getting it in my eye!!! and it hurt my face! so i got cold stone ice cream and then we just decided to go to the getty museum and guess what the car fuckin like was havin a smoke or somethin cuz it looked like it so we pulled over in BEL AIR! and well me and ploy just walked around and looked at all the nice houses, hoping to see like a celebrity hahaha while my bro stayed with the car. when the tow truck came, we got in the truck and was stuck in like 3 hrs of traffic! the guy was nice to talk too, he knew alot about movies and celebrities which was kinda weird and cool at the same time...
5. thursday i went to pasadena. cool. i got a couple new sunglasses again adding to my collection. then i got a new pair of nikes skinny dunks. it has cherrys on it. and i wanna go back and get ALIFE sneaks. ther red and pretty rad hahah. im really likin shoes now but im still really picky and yeah. and when we came home went to eat at ajisan ramen which was like alrite noting fancy... these are my shoes:
and these are the shoes that i want:


either in whatever color, but i like red the most hhaha.
6. then Today which is a friday. i went to have a bake day with mo and hanna. i finally got to see both of their new homes which was awesome. mo has like the best house ever!!! its like a freakin mansion dude!! i was like whao. its too good to even describe! we ended up baking a pie, angle food cake with fruitsw, and made pasta which was freakin bomb!!!! hahahaha omgosh hanging with those two are funn. we made videos of ourselves singing to like a lot of songs hahaha.
7. i guess it was a good way to end the week, and today everyone went to the beach, ughh makes me hat e last minute planning! but like i still have to finish a book for english which theres like 300 something pages and i barely read 30 something. and i gott do flash cards for history and do review stuff UGH but good thing that i finally found out where my folder was and it was in lost and ofund YAY! gotta get tat monday though urghhh.

ughh

ughh i've been pretty tired all of last week and this week. i feel lonely too. lol like everyone around me is dating and getting all loveydvey, but i have no one -_- hahaha gayy. and people are leaving for europe tomorrow. and im here...
im boring, seriously i dont even take big risks. and gosh just been feelin so distant and extra weird to everythign around me. and im confused on many things. like i dont even know. sighhhhh.
i gave blood today. i came in six a.m. to the pool at school and cavessa wasnt there fuckk my life. todays been kinda whatever. i felt even more distant today...

UGH!

well lets catch up on some things here shall we. 
On feb.24/2009 I got the chance to go to Johnny Cupcakes Lecture at Whittier College. He was so down to earth and omgosh it just makes his business more like personal when he says it. hahaha. I would like to go again. I learned a lot of stuff. lets just hope i remember it all hahaha.I got fisheye lens tooo! omgosh that was kind of a surprise. I'm so happy and I love it soo much! the pictures come out amzazazzing hahaha.
Oh and I had to write an article on the JC lecture thing too. i didnt like it. It took me forever to write even though its onl like my second time writing for paw prints. then I was the cause of THE ADVISORRR>:[ getting fucking pissed! the next day her husband told me bout why his wife had to come home late! UGHHH i think that jsut has to be between the advisor and me not him!!! pissed me off for the fucking day.
And more about fucking pissing me off, them shit talkers be it! like seriously is that you life or what. You like to talk behind people's back but dont have the guts to say it to their motherfucking face? Damn if i had the chance to fucking just rip you face off i would! SERIOUSLY! UGHHH! whatever at least ima have a future and you wont you fucking bitchass pussies!!! (rantttttt)
This makes me grateful for the friends that I have. My BFFS you know who you are, even though you dont know i have a blog hahaha. man i lovey ou guys. you keep level and grounded.
I love to listen to a tribe called quest, i just love getting lost in their beats and rhymes.I've just been listening to a lot of hip hop and electro music. i think hip hop is dead though like c'mon soulja boy, really/ really?? 
OH MAN i got finally got a pair of nice clean crisp kicks<3
hmm what else.oh today was the first swim meet. man lets see i swam the medley relay, then the 200 IM, then the 100 fly, and then the 400 free relay. WTFFF i almost threw up today! freakin i knew i shouldnt have tried out for the 200 IM fucking killed me !!! ohmygoodness.

Seventeen Forever

My birthday just past and I turned 17. I had a waterpolo game that day and so did the following next 2 days. ugh. I kept reminding people it was going to be my birthday like the week before..I did that cause I wanted attention I guess but whatever.. When the day came, it didnt really feel like it was my birthday.. It was still alright though. Zub got me balloons, Carl got me brownies, Han bought me a giant cookie, CC baked me cookies, ToriThomas got me cap'ncrunch hahahaha. Over all that day was okay, even though we didnt win the game but it was all good.
Later that night, my family took us to eat at a japanese bbq place in pasadena, it was good. and it cost like 300 bucks! hahaha its right by colorado street but i didnt get to shop.

Valentines day was yesterday and I wasnt alone LOL. In the morning I went to eat dimsum with my family and later went to hung out with Mo and HanKoh. We hit up cue first and took the silliest pictures hahaha. Then we went to eat some crepes and it was delicious. "IT TASTE BETTER THE SECOND TIME!" hahaha. inside joke. We talked about almost everything, from college to roomates, to futre jobs, to vaginas, to Wilson, to the Octomom (that really sounds like something from spiderman really). We ended up buying each other wooden roses hahahaha and after went to quicklys. We were there for like 2 hours! hahaha i love the almond tea w/ no boba tastes good! I finally came home at like 10pm. Overall it was the best Valentines day I ever had hahahaha.

My mom thinks i got out to much, which i dont think so at all!!! And steph and them just invited me to go out to downtown disney cuz kiisfm is gonna be there, but i had to say no cuz i know that the answer from my parents was gonna be no.... Man what did I do? Or not do?...

Highlights

Where should we start?

-school: Finals were done a while ago. So far I found out that my grades in u.s. history is an A, english B+, physio A, stats probably D-, journalism A, waterpolo A. 

-Waterpolo: YAY! i was playing with JV and i was able to score 2 shots which in the end we won like 6-5 or 6-4. against los altos :D tmrw we're gonna play rowland, so we better win!

-Life: its been pretty much whatever. I feel like i'm bipolar or something... I feel really bad not going to my cousin's graduation, i think i was being selfish for when my parents didnt let me go to the beach with nayely and them. We had a graduation party at my house that day too. I felt like shit so i showed it by staying in my room until like 3pm. When my cousin came in, i couldnt hold it in anymore and i cried. it was because everyhting was adding up and it just overloaded. He talked with me for a couple of minutes and it really helped. I think he's on of the best cousins ever. That day there was felipe and matt and i was stealing beer form my house for them hahahaha i drank some, but only a little. At night it was kinda chil but crazy because one of my cousins got drunk and she spilled everything about her and her sex life LMAo, it was weird because my lil bro was there.. the next day on a sunday, my lil bro, paul, jeff, and i went to fairfax. that day was bomb :D jeff got me a johnnycupcakes shirt hahaha thanks cuz. We went in to a lot of stores and i just soaked in everything haha. I went to a thrift store with paul and i got a flannel and a american apperal tee all for 8 bucks :D that was awesome. I also walked past Kevin Rudolf and Tabitha from the salon makeover show LOL. to end the night we went to go eat at MANNA korean bbq. i love cousin outings like these its always the best.

-Friends: ugh i hate themmm. they always think they're too cool for anyone else. fuckin shit talkeers.... I hang out with my waterpolo friends and some other people and their the bomb. we always laugh hahaha. idk how to celebrate my birthday this year, i might not have one cuz i dont know who to invite since some of them hang out in different groups.

-Love: HAHAHAHAHA

Today I finally went snowboarding! Well I took beginner lessons and I learned some basics. It was harder than I thought! My big bro took us up to big bear snow summit with his wife. It wasnt cold because the sun was out and it was really hot for a while. It was soo fun! hopefully we could go again soon!!!

Techno

Well Hello,

I think I'm going to start from the night of the wedding.

It was my big bro's wedding on saturday jan.3 2009. It was pretty fun. I sat at a table with ploy, gib, jeff,my lil bro, matt, farinda, meysa, zye and her friend. The food was pretty tight hahahaha. Umm okay before the reception party there was a ceremony at my new house where like 30 people came to. after that I went to sleep from like around 11ish AM to like 5:00ish PM because I didnt get a good nights sleep the night before. 

Continueing on with the reception, when matt was trying some drinks, I wanted to try too and so I did, I didnt really care because I've tried beer before and like it didnt effect me really. I drank some vodka I guess and some long island ice tea or whateer and wine. but nothing happened, I was still alright. I wasnt trying to get drunk or anything, I just wanted to experience it. 

I also danced for the first time there too. that means that I was dancing in a large group and not in front of my mirrror LOL. 

I think the drinks helped me loosen up hhhahaha.

Ummm then some drama happened with my cousin and one of my bro's friends. 

the night just kinda ended when people just started to leave one by one.

Happy New Year

This is a new year and I wanted to start blogging because its kinda like a journal, and I want to keep track of whats happening in my life. I usually forget a lot of stuff so it would be nice to remember some stuff hahaha.

Well today is Jan.1 and I didn't do much today. I woke up at like almost 3pm today cause last night was a New years thing at Thailand Plaza so I ened up coming home and going to sleep at like 4:30 am. The party was for like adults. Me, Ploy and my lil brother were really boreddd! We went to a dessert shop and a donut shop and got a couple of goodies cuz the dessert there was kinda bad.
My new year's resolution is:
1) To appreciate my parents more and help them around the house.
2) Try and end the school year with a C+ or higher in Stats.
3) Just stop trying to be who I'm not.
4) Find a boyfriend hahahahaha

I have a feeling that this school year might be the shit, and so will my senior year. I think its because I'm trying not to give a fuck about what people think and actually try and be myself. Friends to me are important and I should just stop trying to go into other groups and hang with the friends I have now that I know I will have for the rest of my life.
Winter break is boring and schools gonna start in like 3 days! Tmrw I'm gonna go to Six FLags with a Cece, Sierra, Ploy, P'Gib, and maybe my lil bro. Saturday is gonna be crazy cuz my my big brother is gonna get married :D, and sunday I'm gonna hang with Mo and Hanna :D hahah I think were gonna go to Hollywood but I'm not fully sure...

OH FUCK i still have homework for english to do and hopefully ima do some extra credit for stats and get that C+ hahahahha, hopefully is the key word here.