5:02 AM

Well apparently i cant fall asleep. I tried going to sleep like at around 3 something but it didnt happen.. I guess i think about a lot of things before i fall asleep..

so i've been watching a lot of youtube lately but its of people singing and dancing lol. in my last entry i told you aobut music speaks. well ive been watching videos of those people :) they sing so good and play the guitar so well and the piano too. makes me so jealous. i've taken piano lessons before in middle school. i shouldnt have quit that. cuase now i wanna learn it again cause i realize how graceful and powerful of an insrtument it is..

i cant get enough of J.R. and Andrew Garcia's vioce<3 im in love with them. But right now im listening to Ryan Bandong. OMG he is totally the cutest of them all even though he wasnt in music speaks because he lives in New York. he is so adorable plus he has a good voice too.

I dont think i will get asked to any dances this year. i mean ive never been asked before to dance period but since its never happened, i just think its not gonna happen at all. Its my senior year. sighhh. Wilson people just aint gonna cut it..

"I'm afraid. If I find someone, that when I'm with them, I'm just going to think of you... I thought I was already over you, but i guess not. I was the one that did it. I felt nothing. Now I feel something."

idk what im gonna do about my tshirt stuff. i wanna start a clothing line or whatever but i dont htink im good enough. i htink that for a lot of things i do. i wanna design guys street wear. i love brands like The Hundreds. Is it wrong if I'm a girl and i wanna make shirts like that. shirts like with naked people on it but with a twist? im so interested in those ind of shirts..shirts that gangster skaters wear. i like Hellz Bellz too i think a girl made that up but im not sure and her shirts are edgy like guy shirts but for girls...

I'm going to take SAT classes. i hope its not too late...Then ima take the SAT in october. and have to write up my college essays and turn it in my november..i hope its not too late. im such a procrastinator. a really bad one. my parents want me to go to Cal Poly. I have not fucking clue what im going to do there or anywhere. or what i want to be. I hate growing up. I wish i had more time. should have watched less TV like my parents told me. now look at me. always doing things last minute..

I feel like this school year is just gonna be another school year.. idk we'll see..

My dad found a tarantula and put it in a tuper ware container and put it in the living room. WTF! and i felt bad after like the whole day so at night my dad threw it into someone elses backyard...

When my dad landed at the airport when he flew in from georgia he texted me "I'm in L.A. tricks!" it was LOLs.

I reallly want soooo bad like realy sooo baddddd to be warped tour 2010's pit reporter!!! omgosh that would be a freakin dream come true if i became their pit reporter! but iprobably wont get it since i find things out late and like i dont really like ever win anything..sighh. that would probably be the best summer i would ever have in my life!

gosh idk why but im paranoid right now that my mom is gonna walk into my room and be like "YOU HAVENT SLEPT YET?!" she scares me sometimes...lol

anywaysss this is what i think about sometimes when im tryin to go to sleep. a lot huh? well now i gotta think about what i need to bring to school today and if my camera's charged enough to take pictures and everything...

fudgeee im so sore from waterpolo it was so ahrd to walk normally this entire weekend..lamee

ENDED @ 5:31 AM

Music Speaks

is where i went today with my lovely friend MO! haha. it was in anahiem and it was a charity show for autism.. There was Aj rafael, the adrian william project, cathy nuygen (i can never spell thatname right), passion, and many others. it was very chill and everyone sang super good, all for a good cause. i bought a tshirt from RadIsRad and one of aj rafael. i love andrew garcia :D can i please find a man like that :( so cute. i was hoping that he was going to sing Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon but he didnt :( i lovee his cover on that song .. so sexy :P i thought when aj and his sisters sang the butterfly fly away song was cute and nice it made me sad a little :( but then later we went to the meet and greet and meet everyone but they didnt let us take pictures :( i wanted to take on of my hubby andrew.. i got kinda nervous when i went in.. sooo cute hahaha i cant stop using "cute" in this blog haha.

we started conditioning for water polo already :( but im gladd for the heat and fires cuase theyre keeping from dong anything hard for right now..which is kinda sad cuz fires are bad :( the first day of school was whatever..no biggy but it was freakinggg hot as fuhhhh.

wow that movie 2012. idk i like to believe its full of shitt its like the day after tomorrow but better picture and special fx hahahah.i just went to the website thats on tv advertising the movie and it makes it look so real. hahaha but too bad i cant live my life the way i want too. makes me think life is short and you gotta do what you want to, but i cant.. ehh whateverrrrr

"i find myself always thinking about that guy, maybe its cuz ive got no one and he was able to move on. but truth is no has ever asked me except for you. idk what to do anymore.. i feel so lonely sometimes but thoughts of you fill my mind. i will always love you no matter what. i hope you remember me still. lets meet again later..maybe i wont screw it up that time.."

lick.

im planning on doing this everyday even if i have very little to write.

i cut myself inside my nose and it kinda stings sometimes when i move my nose a certain way.
Today was the first day of night practice for girls waterpolo. it was okay. i really need to work on my treading because i suck. i cant tread. all this time ive just been doing stupid kicks because it keeps me afloat. i mean it works, but treading i guess gives you more power when you shoot. my third year in polo and i dont know how to tread correctly..its not a sport i love,but i'll probably miss it. I hate how i still get nervous before a game, it drives me crazy! i get butterflies, feel dizzy or whatever else. oh and i ate the chlorine smell that always gets stuck to my skin. and thats why i love bath and body works, thanks:)
I probably wont end up doing swim..

i dont feel worthy of a letterman. but i should order it like now. idk if i should go old school where it looks like a cardigan or i should go for the one that everybody has...

Quickie

Sooo I forgot to tell you that i got my driver's permit. I felt late cause everyone else has their lisence already:(
I didnt go to the last day of warped tour today because i just wasnt in the mood for it even though i do regret not going, but it'll pass. idk why i didnt feel like it...
So instead went to eat brunch with the family at knotts berry farm. Then went to thaitown cause my mom wanted to get some magazines. so i just fell asleep in the car. then dropped off my mom, went to go pick up carol, got dropped off at the mall. i got a cardigan and a tank top from F21. then walked all the way to macaroni grill for POON's going away dinner. While walking there i thought i should call my parents and tell them that iw as almost at the place but i didnt. i had the same urge again when i ordered my food but i didnt. then i put the phone in my bag...then carol's phone went off and she said my parents were at her house with her parents asking where i was...WOWOWOWOWOW! then i looked at my phone and there was fur new viocemails, and a ton of missed calls... sometimes i should just follow the urge..

school starts in 2 days. wtf is up with the schedule? i fucking hope i dont have zero period. it would ruin my senior year ughh.

oh and we went in to trade my brother's old van for a BMW 3 series in black, sexy

Summer is almost over...

...And it wasnt one that i would remember for ever. Now that I think about it, I dont really remember it at all. I didnt go anywhere at all for vacation..unless you call watching tv all day everyday in your room until you turn into a vegetable and your back gets all sore, a vacation.

Something memorable: GOing to the Pomona Warped Tour! was a blast! the best set was The Devil Wears Prada. damn i loved them. i never really listened to them on myspace but when i heard them live, i fell in love. Underoath was pretty cool too. A day to remember was the most sweatiest ever! i really thought i was going to die! but i enjoyed it. I saw Saosin and Cove is so fine <3 love him. and idk what else...OH versaemerge was sweeeet. best new band ive listened too, they were great live!

I also went to go see a show with my friend Flori. The band was called Close But NOt Quite. they were pretty cool. there were other bands too like Big City Kids, Teen Hearts, Boombox Ninjas, The divine. it was at chain reaction my first time there. pretty cool place. definately would go back again.

On business day which was like august 18. went got my classes and my ID and books and shit. Looks like im gonna hate my schedule this year. and a classcalled fucking PRIDE! what the fuck is that shit!?!?! ugh i swear school gets worse every year. BUt the people dont :) that was the point of this paragraph. Yeaqh well after getting all that crap, John, Samantha, Alison, and Dianne decided to go to Dennys for breakfast since it was still in the morning and we were all hungry! We didnt want to go home yet so after Sam went to go drop something off at fedex, we went to cue and took some stupid ass pictures. then we went to the park and just layed in the grass ( i konw so hippie sounding) but it was nice and relaxing, just getting away form everything for just a little bit. that day was fun. good fun ive had in a while.

And of course hanging out with MO day. hahaha blast and BONGO and johnny cupcakes and everything.

MOVING ON: i have no fucking clue what to do with college or SATs or ACTs. wtf do i do?!?! im lost. i hsould have just been going in honor roll or whatever so i can just go to somewhere good. but then i wouldnt know what to major in cuz i have no fucking clue. i wish i had all my life figured out like the asian kids at school. i just wish i made smarter choices..sometimes i wish i had someone in my life that pushed me hard about college like the parents in those college movies that are all crazy about it. maybe i would have done better in school? idk.. not sayin that my parents are not good stuff but.
i wish essays for college was like this. just bad grammer and spelling all over and they wouldnt care, they would just look at it and know what you mean and stuff..sighhhh


tere is so much more i want to say but im just gonna stop for right now..

hmm

I really dont know what to write right now..i had it all in my head but now its all gone ahaha.

well yesterday was the best day with mo and hanna ever! hahaha first we headed over to the Johnny Cupcakes store :) oh wait but before that we haeaded over to in&out to get some road kill and monkey style but they didnt have any :( the lady thought we were joking with her but we werent. i read it in maxim magazine and they said that in&out had it. but anyways we headed to JC and that was fun. I got the one year ann. shirt woo 158/200! it was a limited shirt. Mo got the california blue tshirt. It was hanna's first time in the store :) Man i really want to go to the goonies showing in fairfax!! this saturday :( but i probably cant. going to another movie priemere maybe not sure. THen we walked around for a bit and damnnn so many cute guys.

THen we wanted to go to sprinkles cupcake but we stopped at a starbucks cuz mo had to go and i had to go. and we then walked to Whole foods which is now my fav!!!! i liked fresh and easy but this one is wayyyy better! omg so many good looking people in that part of town hahaa. We went there trying to find these special type of macarroons but they didnt have any. and so we went to the bakery right next door and they didnt have it! so we just got this merengue thing and cookies. haha On the ride there to sprinkles omg mo sooo funny! her accents, so G!

Once we got to sprinkles, Mo got the pumpkin and redvelvet. i got the red velvet too and strawberry which i got today and was deliciouss. hanna got the black and white cupcake that was pure goodness. oh and we went to eat those cupcakes at a mexican fast food place HAHAAHAH cuz the water was too expensive :) yup thats how we do!

SO on our way home we decided to watch the ugly truth but the movie theater that we wanted to see it at didnt have the movie which was like WTF! so we decided to go get some korean bbq instead! OMG i was soooo happpy! i was finally fulfilling my dream of going to eat korean bbq with korean people!!! yes. and the place was not bad at all it was the bomb. the place was called BONGGA! hahahaah we could not stop sayin that for the rest of the night, o'chantee.

THen for the last stop we went to genki livng for some good delicious fish shaped pastry. mm i love the custard. i wanted to go take some cue pictures but the place closed at 10 :( we went to Yes plaza and that was closed too! damn. so Mo decided to talke me home and i gave her hanna and i's KING FRUIT tshirt :) hahaha. then they left and that was that!!!

TODAY! i cleaned my room and found out where the ants were going! to a freakin apple juice box i left on the desk. hmmm and idk what to say. summers going alright just hopeing that i get to go to the last couple of shows and yup thats it :)