chiilllasssweekkenddd

so i forgot what i did friday but saturday went to Roscoe's house and played rockband, which was fun, but got pretty boring after a while. so went into his room, and we fooled around a little bit hehehe.
then later that night went on a girls night out with nayely, carol, and sierra. went to cheesecake factory yummm then went back to carols house and watch the uninvited for a little bit before i had to leave. but before we went to eat we went to cue to take pictures yay!

then sunday was superbowl and went to ceci's casa. watched the game for a bit, smoked some weed for the semi- first time then went to watch the game, then ate a rice crispy that had some ganja in it duhh, then smoked some more..but the entire day i did not feel anyhting at all. i dont know why. i heard the weed was dippd in some pcp but idk. took some sick ass picturesss
then went with ploy hanna and zub to get crepes, and ploys car fuckin broke down in front of mcdonalds and this guy came to help us which was nice, even though we thought he was a killer. but yeah what a night.

then fucking monday was hella chill. playd football with a ton of people! haha even though i didnt know much, it was fun:)
planning on again next monday.

today was taco tuesday<33 i think we be makin this a tradition haha. eat then spitball>:)

my mom comes back on the 15, i dont want her too cuz i have a lot of fun..is that fucked up?

Cliff Diving

is a MUST!
thats one thing on my list.
i want to experience the thrill. that butterfly feeling you get when you jump into the ocean.
the wind in my hair. the open-ness.
the feeling that nothing can happen.
the coolness of the water once you hit.
i might be scared at first, but im down:)

kickback

so i found that was not super buzzed, but drunk. but not drunk like oscars party drunk.
i seriously thought i was good, like i thought that i was just buzzed..but i guess not.
i found out that gave Bravery her sisters number and thats why people where saying i fucked up the night..but i know there was more to that.
Skeez says im a slut. i'm not. i dont think i am. its not liek im sleeping with everyone and making out with everyone. im not. im laying off Bravery.
I making a "buried life" list. ive got so many things in my head, i need to write them down..
haha i feel like crying. and i have no idea why, maybe my period is coming yay! my boob kinda hurts. we'll see.

1. fall madly in love, for real

Terrible Freedom

So I've been trying to get over *SKEEZZ for some time now cause he was, i guess, a guy that i found out i actually had real feelings for..since my first boyfriend. he knew that i liked him..but i knew that he like this other girl..i set myself up for it. but i didnt think i was gonna actually have feelings for the guy i mean we were and still are close friends..and that week just kinda changed it for a bit..but it's not like that anymore.
i've been hooking up with *BRAVERY at parties..i know it sounds completely wrong as fuck, i think i did it to get his attention which was stupid as fuck. I never did anyhting with the guy though..just made out..got a little touchy touchy but whatevers..we were both tipsy.
why am i wasting all my time on this one guy..i keep giving myself false hope, that he may be interested in me.. but i know he wants her. he says he's confused and lost, but haha i know i got nothing. haha oh man how pathetic am i?? haha
i lost my vcard...on jan.17 on a bed at g'parents hizzle. it hurt..but the second time didnt. felt good. but im..just hoping my period comes soon...

so ive been out almost everyday since my moms been gone. hung out with the waterpolo girls all week. it was chill. went to top of the world and stuff, played taboo, watched movies, went to kickbacks and parties.
damn but at oscars i got really fucked up for like the first time ever. i dont remember much..but i knew i was throwing up like crazy. and got a nasty hangover..damn do not want to be like that again..

i feel like giving up..on life. seriously idk what to do overall liek college what would be my major? i have no clue what i want to be when i grow up..
love..what love. my love life is fucked. all im good for is hookups and friends with benefits.
idgaf. i guess whatever happens happens.

last night at becca and liz's bday kickback. got kinda super buzzed. got pissed cuz i saw them together..so then i went *bravery and then next thing i know everyone was pissed at something and i have no clue what the fuck is going on..
hahaha ohhh wellz they dont wanna tell me then whatever.